Be careful with words

We often speak too much and we don't really listen. Most times it is best to listen and to not speak. When we listen, we learn. Think about the times you have had an argument with someone. Did you take the time to really listen or did you just barge in there head first with your point of view.......

When one truly listens, then you can determine what is really being said, you might even find that you are saying the same thing, just in a different way. In reality, you could spend hours/days arguing about the same thing and when you think about it that is such a waste of time and energy, but more importantly feelings get hurt and damaged.

So, don't let your emotions and your ego cloud your responses, because you'll probably end up saying things that you never meant to say. And those words can never ever be taken back. 

Comments

[F.]

Hello, lovely Lotus!

I think I've been focused on truly listening, at least since my teen years. Since my late teens or early 20's [I'm in my late 40's now], I have noticed how people sometimes argue passionately, but they will indeed be saying the same thing in different ways. I suspect we all do it, since we all can probably learn how to listen at least a little better. I know I can.

I've lost count of how many times I've waited for the right moment in the midst of an argument - lets say at the barbershop - and offered the observation that both parties are saying the same thing in different ways/words. Sometimes the participants have brushed it off, and other times they have truly stopped to consider that possibility. I am happy when they can hear that, take it in, and see the common ground on which they stand.

But I am happiest when I take a step back, and catch myself doing this very thing. It is great to see others, but it is more satisfying to see myself, and my own areas and opportunities for growth.

I suspect Empathy can help us see these moments more clearly. Often, we are focused on ourselves, our thoughts, feelings, opinions, issues, etc.. But when we take a moment to look at things from another person's vantage point, we have a chance to see that they may be thinking/feeling the same things we are, but expressing them in way that better suits them and their experiences, instead of us and our experiences. Or as you said more concisely: "emotions and ego".

Great commentary! Thank you, Lotus. :)